A STELLAR Store Is Coming Downtown

The new sign at 48 N Main; (inset) the old Bangle storefront. PHILIP THIBODEAU PHOTOS

Attentive observers may have noticed a recent change to the storefront at 48 North Main Street – the sign for the former Bangle dress shop has been replaced by a mysterious ‘S’.

The ‘S’ in question stands for STELLAR – Southington’s Transitional Education in Life, Learning, and Adult Responsibilities. A few months from now, the storefront under the sign will house a gift shop run by STELLAR's students.

STELLAR is a special education program for students with disabilities who are between the ages of 18 and 22 years and have either graduated from high school or completed their graduation requirements. In effect, it is a fifth-year of high school where students can work on the skills they need to achieve independence. One way they gain those skills is by having experience in a retail environment.

The program is part of the Southington school system, which pays for its staffing and transportation needs, and covers the rent for its location. Over the years STELLAR has moved around quite a bit. According to Amy Aresco, the interim Director of Pupil Services, it was first housed in the now-defunct Lincoln College. From there it moved downtown to Branford Hall Career Institute at 35 North Main. When the Institute shut down in 2020, STELLAR relocated to the first floor of the building, in the hallway behind Southington Coffee.

Ever since then the program has been on the look out for a street-facing location. When Bangle closed its doors last February, the directors jumped at the opportunity to move across the street.

The new space will have a pair of classrooms to serve its 20 or so students, as well as an office and spaces for storage and retail. According to District Transition Teacher Effie Cahill, the shop will sell used books, puzzles, and donated toys, as well as keepsakes like stickers, notebooks, pens, and small, Etsy-style crafts. Other towns in the area have similar stores; Cahill said that STELLAR has learned a lot from The Next Chapter in West Hartford, which has a similar educational mission and a track record of success.

Before the new shop opens, it will need display shelving, storage, and payment technology. To cover these costs, STELLAR applied for a $3,000 grant from the Southington Education Foundation. At its most recent public event, incoming SEF Grants Chairperson Jan Galati proudly announced that the grant had been approved.

Cahill, who wrote the grant, was thrilled to hear the news. “A lot of other districts around us have some of these stores. We took a few years to study their models. We’ve slowly been edging to this opportunity, and we were able to get a small storefront that we can open up. The grant from SEF is the icing on the cake.”

To get the stop up and running, STELLAR will collaborate with the DECA program at the high school, which prepares students for careers in business. “The two teachers that run DECA really helped us to get the store open,” Cahill said. “There are benefits for our students who will get peer-to-peer mentoring, and for the DECA students who will help as mentors.”

If all goes according to plan, proceeds from retail sales will make the whole enterprise self-sustaining, with no need for ongoing aid.

STELLAR is aiming for the store to have a soft opening later this spring – hopefully in April, and no later than June. As for its name, that has yet to be finalized.

“We brainstormed a lot and have this giant list of names,” Cahill said. “At some point the kids in the program are going to vote. We will partner with DECA to really cinch it up. It is yet to be determined, but we will share it.”

Sober Southington Is Serious About Having Fun

The Sober Southington crew at Kinsmen Brewery, with pizza and non-alcoholic beer. PHILIP THIBODEAU PHOTOS

“What did you think of Barb’s?” a member of Sober Southington asked the group. “I liked it, it reminded me of the kind of pizza I grew up with," came the reply.

And South Town Pizza, where they had just come from? “Checked a lot of boxes for me, especially the nice burnt crust.”

Those gathered around the table at Kinsmen Brewery were participating in a ‘Best Pizza of Southington’ contest and waiting for new pies to arrive. Just a few minutes earlier, they had been out on the Canal Trail to stage a playful ‘pizza protest.’ “What do we want? GOOD PIZZA! When do we want it? NOW!” Group organizer Shane Shackelford shouted through his megaphone, while the rest of the group repeated the chant and moved in formation down the path.

Over six feet tall and sporting a festive collection of tattoos, Shackelford, who goes by ‘Shawn Sharks’ on Facebook, stands out in a crowd. He prefers clothes with flair, such as the pants with pizza-slice print he was wearing today. He also radiates openness, greeting people he’s just met for the first time as if they were old friends. A native of Nashville, Tennessee, he now resides in Southington with his wife Sara Cyr and his son.

Shackelford runs Sober Southington in his spare time. His day jobs include working at a doggie day-care and tending bar at the Groggy Frog. The latter might seem like an odd choice for someone in recovery, but Shane says “you have to keep your demons close” to keep them under control.

He and Sara started the group to provide “the sober and the sober-curious” with safe socialization options. Staying clean requires discipline, persistence, and humility; what Sober Southington has to offer are opportunities to have fun, to get a healthy buzz from shared adventures, and to know someone out there has your back.

“Shane is way outside the box,” said group member David Riccio. “Some of the things he comes up with are so artistic. Ironically, I stopped drinking on the same day he did. Shane is like, you’re taking on a new life, a new way of life, a sober way of life. “

“Here, you’re putting yourself with other people and helping each other out. It’s a public group, not a private one. A couple weeks ago we had a guy’s night. I met four guys that I probably never would have encountered otherwise. It was at the escape room at Factory Square. We had to work together as a team. Then we went back to Shane’s garage, his man-cave. He got out the Avery’s soda, said which is your favorite flavor, and handed them out.”

“I can go on. Everything he touches just turns to magic. He’s got that personality.”

Once the platters at Kinsmen were empty – “excellent, really tasty” – the group members piled into their cars to head for their fourth and final destination, Nonna’s Pizza. There, owner Ace Memeti and his father entertained the crew while pizzas cooked in the oven. Once served, the group made short work of the pies. Everyone handed in their rating sheets and waited for the votes to be tallied.

The winner? Nonna’s Pizza, by a considerable margin. Some might wonder whether the $20 gift certificates that Ace distributed to the participants may have played a role in this decision. Regardless, the essential point was not to evaluate culinary standards – it was to spend the afternoon going around town and having fun.

Shane photographs Nonna's manager Ace Memeti as he holds his trophy.

The Silent Ravers

Shane and Sara keep the group’s calendar full: after the pizza crawl on December 20, there was a massage night in West Hartford on December 28, a book club at Kinsmen on December 29, and to ring in the New Year, a silent rave at Infinite Growth Club downtown.

A ‘silent rave,’ for those who don’t know, is a dance party where the participants wear headphones linked to wifi that let them choose from a few different dance tracks. People who prefer up-tempo beats can dance together in one area while those who prefer something slower can gather in another. Another option is to take off your headphones and hold a conversation in a room that, while buzzing with activity, is not deafeningly loud.

One participant, Bob from New York, said this was his first ever silent rave. He expressed his gratitude for the opportunity to try out something completely new.

Two attendees, Carrie and Kelly, heard about Sober Southington from The Phoenix, another Hartford-area sobriety group. Lighting up the floor with their glow-in-the-dark shoes, they took turns dancing, sipping on their drinks, and circulating.

Their beverages were made by Roaming Spirits, a mobile bar run by the husband-and-wife team of Anthony and Kelly. The options were, of course, non-alcoholic, but not lacking in imagination:

One noticeable feature of this dance party was the presence of young children. A few gathered around a console playing video games, while others danced with their parents.

One of the mothers, Alicia Diaz, is the co-owner of Infinite Growth. She and her business partner Brandi Nik Kilbourne-Price took turns joining the party and welcoming guests at the door. They said they were excited to ring in the New Year with Shane and his group and looked forward to future collaborations.

Alicia and Brandi, co-owners of Infinite Growth

Part Of A New Movement

Sober Southington is not unique in its devotion to alcohol-free socialization. As CNN recently reported, a new trend for sober partying has sprung up that spans the globe. In Seoul, for instance, young people rise at daybreak so they can dance for an hour before work, fueled by good vibes and caffeine. In France, one bakery has become famous for dance parties that celebrate bread and other baked goods.

All over the world, it would seem, people are rethinking what it means to have fun and coming to similar conclusions about the possibilities. But a trend doesn’t just happen on its own: it takes individuals with energy and imagination, like Shane, to make it happen. On January 3, on Facebook, Shackelford spelled out what Sober Southington is all about in a short manifesto:

“Sober Southington likes to have fun! We are a community of people who have chosen to live without alcohol or drugs but who still value laughter, connection, adventure, and genuine enjoyment, often even more than before. This kind of group understands that fun does not depend on substances and that the most lasting, satisfying experiences come from being present, clear-minded, and authentically engaged with others. Members include people in recovery, those who simply choose not to drink for health or personal reasons, or individuals who are “sober curious” and want to see what life feels like without relying on substances to relax or socialize. We gather for activities where the focus is on shared experiences rather than on drinking: lots of activities lined up for the month of January. If you are practicing dry January, now is the time to check us out.”

Friends dance in front of Roaming Spirits' mocktail bar.

Bread For Life Offers Food - And Much More - For Those In Need

SCREENSHOT FROM 'BREAD FOR LIFE'

The executive director of Southington’s Bread For Life, Missy Cipriano, is a trained beekeeper. During the summer, when the hives behind Bread For Life’s garden are awake, she takes care of the bees as they gather nectar and make honey. But even in the winter, when the bees hibernate, her skills are still useful, since Bread For Life is itself a kind of beehive, buzzing with people collecting and processing food to feed those in need.

In fact, Bread For Life does more than target hunger. Recently Missy took the Outsider on a tour of the facility to show us what she and her staff do to provide its clients with practical help, dignity, and a sense of community connection. The tour was filmed and edited by Wayne Edwards – a member of the Outsider's Board of Directors, and a professor in the Communications, Film, and Media Studies Department at the University of New Haven – along with two of his students, Elisa Roche and Jay Sanders. Click below to watch the 13-minute feature:

For more information, see Bread for Life's website.

Here are some of Bread for Life's dedicated volunteer drivers preparing to make deliveries on Christmas Eve: